(NJO)(Marv) Lesson I: The Force

Marv sat quietly next to the waterfall, deep in meditation. At least, that’s what he was supposed to be doing. In reality, he had dozed off under the influence of the sunshine and the gentle melody of the falling water.

He dreamt of home – of sitting back in his mother’s kitchen, eating a bowl of her homemade guarl-fish soup. He had been comfortable there for many years. Although not well-off, his family had always kept a roof over their heads and fish on the table. There had been no crash landings in his small fishing village. No barbarian hordes chasing them. No mystical wizards. That is, not until–

“Marv. Marv!”

He came awake with a little snort. Glancing around, he finally noticed Jedi Knight Nokori Imani standing on the little bridge over the stream. Oh, no. How long had she been there? Had he been snoring again?

“Marv, I hate to disturb such… deep meditation,” the Jedi said, the faintest hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. “But I wanted to check up on your progress. It’s been over a week since we’ve begun meditating and… well, all the other students have already moved on.”

Marv’s cheeks burned. He knew he didn’t belong here – did she have to remind him?

“It’s, uh, going alright – uh, I guess,” he lied. But then his frustration bubbled up inside of him. “Actually – no, it’s not. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just sit here everyday, for hours, listening for ‘the Force.’ I don’t hear or feel anything!” he said, his voice rising.

He should have known this would happen. He was a fool to think he could be a Jedi. What was he doing here? If he hadn’t crash-landed on this blasted planet, he’d have left days ago. As it was, he was good and stuck here now.

Master Imani gracefully descended from the bridge. Walking over, she placed a hand gently on Marv’s shoulder and looked down at him with a friendly, understanding smile.

“I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with that, Marv – everyone learns at their own pace, and the Force has a will of its own. I know you’ve been struggling. That’s why I came out here: to see if there was anything I could do to help you.”

Marv started. He had not expected this. The Jedi were powerful, mystical beings. What did they see in an old man like him? Why did they care?

“I… I think there was some sort of mistake, Master Imani. I… I can’t be a Jedi.”

Nokori sat cross-legged across from Marv. She tucked her robes neatly around herself, propped her chin on her organic hand, and looked intently into his face.

“Why not, Marv?”

“I’m only an old fisherman from a small village,” he responded dully. “Jedi don’t come from Aguarl-3.”

“I grew up in a small village. And Master Skywalker was once a moisture farmer on Tatooine,” Nokori said with a smile. “The Force doesn’t care where you come from, Marv. Neither do any of your fellow students. And neither do I.”

“But I’m too old!” Marv persisted. “All the other Initiates are much younger. Didn’t the Jedi used to only choose young children?”

The female Knight frowned at this. “It’s true that you’re our oldest Initiate, Marv. And yes, the old Jedi Order almost exclusively chose its members from the very young. But Master Skywalker’s new Order is less… rigid. Perhaps more in-tune with the Force. Many of the old rules have been carefully removed. My own marriage to Asa would have been forbidden by the Jedi of old.”

Slightly comforted, but still harboring stubborn doubts, Marv said, “I just don’t feel like I belong here. It’s… uncomfortable. I’m not like the other Initiates. They’re young and enthusiastic. And I’m nothing like the Masters – wise and strong. I’m like a guarl-fish out of water.”

“Marv, Marv,” Master Imani replied, gently shaking her head. “You were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness. The path of the Jedi is not to stay where we are ‘comfortable,’ but to grow where we are planted. Look at this sapling,” she said, gesturing to the small plant between them. “It has fallen far from its fellow plants. It is forcing its way through the cracks in the rocks. But because of that hardship, it will be all the stronger for it. Be like this sapling, Marv. Put your roots down where you are planted, rather than wishing you were somewhere else. And then grow – grow stronger and stronger because of the adversity you come through.”

Despite himself, Marv found that he was nodding along to her words. They stirred something in him that he couldn’t quite put a name to; in the midst of his doubts, he found a spark of desire to prove Master Imani right. Now if only he could get the hang of this Force thing…

“You know,” Nokori began, with a thoughtful look in her eye, “this could also be the root of why you are struggling to connect with the Force. The Force flows through all of us, but, well –  sometimes we block ourselves off from it. Through fear, worry, or other negative emotions. Perhaps your feeling of not belonging has limited your ability to feel the Force.”

“...How do I fix that?” he asked. He was supposed to just stop worrying and feeling out of place? Just start feeling at home? They were called feelings for a reason! You couldn’t just choose to feel different. You just… felt. Anger rose inside of him. What good was any of this? Who did she think she was? Who did she think he was? Why bother telling him what was wrong if he couldn’t do anything about it? If all she was going to do was–

“Meditate with me, Marv. Close your eyes and focus on where you are. Feel the hard rock beneath you and the wind on your face. Smell the trees and the flowers. Listen to the gently falling water and the wind rustling the trees. Breathe that in. And know that you are wanted here. That I am glad that you are here with me.”

A single tear ran down from Marv’s face. He felt… Well, he felt a lot of things. Homesick, yes. But also gratitude for Master Imani’s kindness. He felt like it was far too difficult to continue on this path. But, if anyone could help him through it, Master Imani could. And he felt a warmth on his face. Not shame or anger. It felt like one of those rare days back on Aguarl-3, when the red sun broke through the ever-present clouds to shine briefly on his face. This wasn’t home. But… maybe, if he really tried, it could be.

“Marv, I want you to try and reach out and feel the sapling. No – not with your hand. With your mind. Reach out and feel…”

To be continued...